New voicemail

Today's theme is re-use :-) The past week we bought a cheap new home phone for our landline. Yeah, I know, a landline... ancient. But we have one, and it occassionally sees some use. The phone we bought also has a built-in answering machine and we really dislike using an answering machine. I forget to listen to the messages and even if I do, I then forget to call back. 

We could of course switch it off altogether, but that is no fun. Instead I wrote a script for the welcome message to give those who have not hung up after 5 or so rings, a warm but longwinded welcome to deter them from actually leaving a message :-)

This is now used on our answering machine and the voicemail message for my cell phone. Please feel free to use it and adapt it for your phone.  Anybody listening until the end of this to actually leave a message does deserve to be called back :-)

The script: 

Hi, you have reached the voicemail of <your name>. Your call is very important to me and I am sincerely sorry that I cannot answer your call in person. But, I am delighted that through today's technology it is possible for you to leave your message, share your thoughts, share your soul, and I will listen to it later. Through this technology I hope to change your initial disappoint into superb happiness so that we can still connect, be it with a little delay.

Here is how it works. After these instructions, you will hear a short beep after which you can leave your message. The answering machine will record your message, save it for us so we can listen to it later and get in touch with you if you so desire. In order to be able to contact you, it is of vital importance that you leave both your name and phone number. Preferrably repeat your phonenumber clearly. Additionally, you can tell me a moment in the future that you would like me to call you back. Be aware though that it is not possible for me guarentee a call back at the date and time you have mentioned.

In addition to your name and phone number, you could consider leaving other ways for me to contact you such as your email address or snail mail address.

ALthough this form of communication does not equal the real, personal touch of a person-to-person phonecall, I sincerely hope that your desire to call me can somehow be satisfied by leaving a message after the beep you will hear shortly.

Be aware though that the beep you are about to hear, will be quite short. I have been unable to determine the exact length of the beep, but to give you an idea of what to expect, I have tried to imitate the real beep.

The beep is not too short, like <beep>. But, it is also not very long, like <beeeeeeeeeeeeeep>, it is more like <beeeep>. Please be aware that the intonation of my imitation may differ from the real beep you will hear soon.

I hope to have informed you well enough about what is coming. In short: you will hear a beep after which you can leave your message. Do not forget to clearly state your name and phone number and if you like, a moment when you would like to be called back.

Again, my sincere apologies that I am unable to talk to you personally at this moment, but I wish you well in leaving your message.

With kind regards, <your name>